Devour. A word I use often feel in English. My feelings beginning a private session are best motivated by this idea, devour. Not to create happiness, content, a service for sexual satisfaction, etc. but to devour. For a few hours they are my slave. And yes a few hours. At least four. If necessary for those few whose darkness is deep and craving for torture is almost bottomless, I choose to break them. And sometimes I photograph the crack.
I photograph the women I tie but I don't suffer from ego.You needn`t see me. The female is center, a mangled goddess and what relationship we have will come out naturally in the photo . You need not see me to feel me.
“Bondage and Sex regardless of actual genital contact are the same for me. Only with certain exceptions, each encounter is a fuck”
Each woman I encounter has an indescribable chasm. An amorphous void whether sexual or psychological, incredibly dark in their mind or heart which I capture either on camera or privately off.There have been times of near psychosis. At that time, I have to bring them back.I can take them there but I must bring them back. I don't think too deeply of photographic aesthetics but that doesn't mean I don't strive for it. When I tie, I tie for real. When I torture, I torture for real. When I take up my camera I shoot for real. I shoot to make the most interesting photo I can. I don`t want mundane, I want creative and emotional. Nothing is staged cause I tie each woman privately before shooting. How else to know their minds, needs, fears, limits or lack there of? I tire of documentary bondage photography so I focus on themes experimental/underground/subversive that retain the reality of each model`s emotions.
My image of kinbaku is of a near ceremony. Ceremonies are typically long and I demand anyone I tie to go through it completely. I don`t tie everyone and I don`t tie to do shows. Anyone who I tie seriously must love it without the glamour.
My first solo show was held at the beloved Shinjukuza (now closed), followed by a group show at it`s last gallery showing. Recently my newest show 「堕落天使の光悦」ー translated roughly as “depraved, fallen angel`s enlightened pleasure” was held at a small SM bar in Shinjuku. The word 堕落 often means fallen but to be more graphic, I suggest “corrupted” or “depraved”. Each possibility describes the meaning of the series. The word 光悦 does not exist as an independent word but I have taken the liberty to combine the two chinese characters for a new meaning of “enlighted pleasure” somewhere close to ecstasy. Each woman included in this series of photos exemplifies the nature of detachment from grace and normalcy to embrace a nature which will do whatever, and accept whatever pain or depravity to fall and not exist except as a new form of enlightened pleasure. There meaning lies.
Desi La = A kinbakushi / photographer active in the Tokyo Underground. Devoted mainly to the influence of nureki chimuo + Kinbiken, naka akira, and yukimura Haruki. Solo shows in 2015 and 2016 held. Currently producing a collaboration photobook with calligraphy artist Nukillizo Inuyasis ( from photo selection, our first work together together can be seen ). Looking for new exhibition possibilities overseas.